Energy Leaks in the Human Machine

Introduction

Have you ever woken up in the morning and felt more exhausted than when you went to bed the night before?

Have you ever experienced the enormous energy drain following an episode of "expressing your real feelings" about some sensitive issue with your partner, associate, or friend?

What about just feeling exhausted and feeling not quite yourself after an average day's activities without any logical explanation?

The question of Energy expenditure, conservation and waste is the subject of this section of our work on Self-realisation.

We will address issues of energy in terms of physical, mental and emotional constituents and find out where all this waste of energy or lack of energy originates.

You will come to understand the difference between physical or muscular energy and conscious energy. You will learn how to detect and plug up "energy leaks" in your machine - the physical body, and how to conserve the energy you require to pursue your quest for Self-realisation.

It makes no sense, when you consider that we are blessed with all the possible energy we need in this life, to be out of energy when we most need it. We have the Air Element, the Earth Element (foodstuffs), the Water Element, the Light and heat of the Sun for our nourishment and sustenance. We have abundant Space in which to move, live and have our being.... Everything we need is there in abundance. We live in a paradise on Earth - so why do we feel exhausted? Why do we lack energy? These are the questions that will be answered in the following pages.....

The emphasis is not so much about where the energy comes from - we all know that we get energy from food and water, air, sun, exercise, exposure to stimuli, relationships and so on. Our concern in this section is to learn how to plug the energy leaks - the source and causes of the energy losses. If we can plug up the leaks, we will have more energy left for work on ourselves.

Unnecessary Effort

This energy leak has to do with the amount of energy we actually put into the task we happen to be performing. It has been observed that invariably we put too much "effort" in what we do. To illustrate, we may take some examples.

As a first example consider the act of writing. In this case the extra "energy" we put in the task goes out in terms of the excessive pressure we use on the writing surface. Some also goes out in terms of the excessive pressure we apply onto the pen with our fingers. Further, some excess energy may be used up in the upholding and maintaining of certain tensions in various body parts due to inappropriate posture such as leaning to one side, holding the legs crossed, holding the head to one side or bent too far forward and so on.

The "effort" we put into the things we do is not always through the actual instrument we are using. As we saw above, in the relatively simple example of writing at a desk, some energy got exhausted through bad posture. But we have a habit of saying later that we got tired from writing. That is how easily we deceive ourselves! We don't see, we don't know, what's going on! Is this not a kind of "lying" to ourselves?

When we drive, to take a second example, we may actually be doing most of our driving with our forehead, our stomach, our face, even with our head -- with all its "thinking" and "dreaming" --- rather than just with our hands, feet and eyes. The effort and energy which goes into these other redundant and inappropriate channels is said to be excessive energy, wasted, and totally unnecessarily, during the simple performance of driving.

Take other simple examples from your life, such as washing a cup, sweeping the floor, polishing your shoes, doing up your tie, smoking a cigarette and the like, and actually watch and see what's happening. If you take the time to actually observe whilst these activities are going on, you will find that far too much energy is wasted in movements, pressure, and other factors which are totally unnecessary and out of place. You are requested, however, to begin observing simple tasks for the simple reason that you may have the tendency to interfere with the task or get absorbed in it, thus in fact losing your attention.

It requires practice to be able to just observe without interfering. (You may observe that there is far too much talking, for example, when the predominant activity is supposed to be eating). Observation will show that a substantial amount of energy is wasted under the guise of "putting a good effort into it" in the performance of practically everything we do. The very observation of this, the seeing of it, and the realisation that in fact energy is wasted, is often sufficient to rectify the whole process of the ongoing activity, provided that the observation and the realisation take place at the time the activity is being performed and not as a post-analysis with the accompanying good intention that "next time I'll be more careful". Next time observation may not take place, and the habit is not overcome.

However, a hint or two may be useful as a starting point in the rectification of such activities and the plugging up of this leak.

Measure

It is to be understood that for the performance of any task some amount of energy is required. In fact the amount of energy required is precise and definite, and is totally determined by the actual situation or task itself. Now the essential point is this:

The knowledge as to how much energy is required, arises from an awareness of the resistance at the interface.

The working interface is defined as the space between the object being worked on and the implement used to perform that work. To take the example given earlier, i.e. writing, here the interface is just the space between the point of the pen and the paper. To allow knowledge to arise as to how much pressure to apply, it is simply necessary to rest the Attention;Rests at the interface attention at the interface. The rest happens automatically. With attention and practice the interfaces for each task may be located and the same principle applied.

Practice:
Effort in Action

The Power-Energy-effort Equation P = E + e

The present exercise deals with a major energy leak and a particular kind of effort. We must emphasise that when we speak of making a deliberate and conscious effort to come back to the body we are not speaking of any physical effort or tense concentration or anything of that sort. We are speaking of Conscious conscious effort -a direction of consciousness or attention which has no physical connotation whatsoever. We emphasise this because in the present exercise we are dealing with physical effort. We want to speak about those extra and unnecessary "efforts" we make as we move about, lift things, speak, walk, work and so on.

Looking at Energy Balance

When the formula is expressed in mathematical symbols the "unnecessary" effort will be represented by a lower case "e" whilst the "energy" required to perform any task or movement will be represented by the upper case "E". When expressed in words the power-energy-effort equation states:

OUTPUT ENERGY = ENERGY REQUIRED PLUS ENERGY WASTED

In other words, the power which the machine - your body - has to produce and actually put out, is composed of two main components: one component is the energy actually necessary to perform the task in question (E); and the other component is the unnecessary "extra" energy which goes out of the machine as "effort" (e). In mathematical symbols this can be put as follows:

P = E + e

Where P stands for the total output power of the machine - the body, E represents the correct energy required for the task, and e is the extra "effort" which we wish to study in the present exercise.

It may be interesting to note that in the case where the energy required (E) is larger than the output Body Power energy available (P), the task cannot be performed, no matter how much "effort" you put into it. A simple example is trying to lift a weight which is too heavy for you.

But let's come back to the case we wish to study presently. The ideal case, of course, would be when the body supplies just the right amount of energy which the task requires.

For example, to lift a 10 Kg. weight only a force of 10 Kg. is required, no more. In the ideal case, then, the unnecessary "effort" (e), is zero, and the task gets done simply and smoothly without any "sweat". By "total output power" we mean all the energy spent in performing any act, function, or movement. By "energy required" we mean the essential energy required for that function or act; and by "unnecessary effort" or "energy wasted" we refer to the "extra" amount of energy, or "effort" we habitually put in unnecessarily.

It is the purpose of this exercise to come to an understanding of this formula; what it means in practice, how to observe it in ourselves in the act; how to begin to minimise the unnecessary effort which should ideally be zero; and how to begin to recognise how much energy is required to perform the task before us so that we may prepare the body (the machine) to produce the necessary power.

Concisely then, the formula we have stated is an energy equation with the unnecessary effort ideally equal to zero, or in other words we are aiming for the condition in which the energy output of the machine is just equal to the energy required by whatever task we are performing, whether it be lifting a physical object, opening a door, speaking, walking; or performing any job such as washing a cup, driving a motor car, writing or typing; playing a musical instrument or swinging a mattock.

Any activity we may be engaged in requires a definite amount of energy which has to be supplied by the human body in the form of its power output. The motivation, or theory, if you like, behind this exercise, is that it is found in practice that we use exceedingly more energy than the minimum amount required in the form of useless effort. It is a common experience you will agree, that most of us feel almost completely exhausted after an average days work even when we "haven't done a thing all day".

We will come to understand that this is because a lot of output power has gone into fruitless effort or what engineers would call "internal friction" or "internal impedance". This state of affairs, i.e. this state of exhaustion and tiredness, can be eliminated even following a full honest day's work.

When is the effort just right?

The theory is that when the The right amount of right amount of energy is expended and the individual is actually present and completely attending to the task at hand, or in terms of the formula, when the unnecessary "effort" e is eliminated, then the task becomes light and in fact quite enjoyable.

The aim of the exercise is, therefore, to discover for ourselves, here and now just what is happening when we go about performing a function or task, and to discover the precise moment when we are applying this extra useless energy which we have been accustomed to calling "effort".

We should not be surprised if we find that we are most likely conditioned into "putting some effort" into the things we do and that we have come to believe that a person rushing around putting up a good show of "speed" and "efficiency" and showing a lot of sweat is "doing a fine job" or "putting a lot of effort into it". If we want to be free of conditioning such as this we must be prepared to observe our own actions and just appreciate how conditioned we really are.

Putting the Formula to Work

The exercise will consist of performing various simple tasks within your room. So you should prepare yourself for some movement. Have within the room some writing material, some movable objects such as books, a case, a chair, etc. You should have access to a least one door - the door of your room or a cupboard door, you should have some space in which to walk and move. Conveniently arrange for some small object such as a book to lie on the floor; a cupboard door to be open; a chair to be out of place and some writing material with pencil or pen to lie on a desk in your room.

Having arranged your field of action as instructed you are now ready to begin the exercise.

Assume a balanced posture... Come in touch with your body. Let all anxiety fall away....

Do not follow any thought. Do not anticipate anything. The instructions are very simple and require only that you observe what you are doing. It does not matter how you do anything - for this exercise - just observe how you do it.

Keep your eyes open; remain at ease and in touch, and look about you.....

Now stand.

Are you now simply standing? Or are you becoming stiff? Are your arms simply hanging? Are you holding onto your shoulders? Look for any "effort" you are putting into your body which is not necessary to just stand there (and that includes slumping).....

Go to the book which you placed on the floor and pick it up. Stay in touch with yourself and watch for any Watching the excess excess effort you put into the task un-necessarily..........

When you bent over to lift the book did you maintain the alignment of back, neck and head? Were you in touch with the joints in your arm and legs as you lifted the book? Did you rest the attention on the book whilst you were lifting or were you thinking of something else?

You are performing exercises which help you to become aware of yourself and of how you might be spending a lot of unnecessary energy, which results in tiredness and premature exhaustion. These questions are put in to help you remember to observe yourself, and what you do. They are not meant as criticism but as a guide to help you become more aware.

Walk over to the desk and sit down.

Are you watching? Are you aware of your posture now? Pick up the pen or pencil and write something; anything will do, preferably without much thinking. As you write watch the tip of the pen. Observe the way you hold the pen, the pressure you are applying onto the paper. Is the pressure you are applying too much? Too little?..........

If you observe the point where the pen touches the paper you will know how hard to press. Your attention should be where the tip of the pen touches the paper; that's where work is being done. This space, the area between the working surface and the end of the instrument is called the interface.

How hard are you holding the pen? Is it necessary to hold it that tight? Are you holding it tightly enough?

Remember, for every task there is a measure, a minimum amount of energy required. It is the excess that we are trying to eliminate.

Stand!

Walk over to the chair which you put out of place.

Now correct the chair. Lift the chair and re-place it in its correct position. Keep watching. You should move slowly if necessary so that you can see what you are doing. What movement did you make unnecessarily? Did you remember to maintain an awareness of your balance whilst lifting? Could you locate the interface?.....

Attention should be where the work is done. In lifting a chair attention rests where the feet of the chair touch the floor. The knowledge as to the energy required to "separate" the chair from the floor arises from the attention placed there. There should be no other "effort".

In replacing the chair the same applies. Try it......

Go to the cupboard door - pause - watch; now close it. What did you do? Did you slam it? Was that necessary? Where was your attention? Where is the work done?

Go to the door of your room. Turn the knob or handle...... open the door...... Are you observing? What effort was necessary? Did you measure the power required? Did you feel the resistance offered by the handle? Did you apply too much force? Too little?

The knowledge as to how much force to apply arises from an awareness of the Resistance at the resistance of the working surface, (the interface). This awareness comes about only if you are present and observing........

Attend to all tasks in this way and soon you'll get the "feel" of how much energy to apply. You should now be getting a sense of the "effort" we are talking about, and you should appreciate that normally we put too much "effort" in the things we do where it is not in the least required.

Go back to your seat and assume normal posture.

Come in touch with your body. Come in touch with the room.

I am in touch with my body.

I am in touch with my body in action.

My body is a machine, a tool for work.

I can observe the machine, I can use the tool for work.

My body performs a task, a function. I am not the body. I am not the function. I am the observer of the body and of the function.

The body is a tool for my use.

Unnecessary Talk

The next energy leak we are going to consider is that which arises from excessive, unnecessary talk. As illustrated by the first energy leak discussed above, the direction of this work is towards the maximum conservation of energy in the human machine as a total working unit.

Just as we should correctly observe each situation and hence measure out the appropriate amount of energy, so too in the case of talking we are asked to measure out the minimum amount of verbal output required to achieve the objective. To get a sense of what we are getting at we might look at some areas in which we frequently find too much un-necessary talk going on and experience as a consequence that same old feeling of premature exhaustion and tiredness. The first instance which comes to mind is the case of...

Idle Conversation

This includes all that idle chit-chat we engage in when we feel we just have to say something. What generally happens is that this idle talk carries on and snowballs into quite a large number of totally irrelevant topics and in the end there is often very little time left to talk about what we were supposed to talk about --- and this usually gets done less efficiently because by this time the machine is running on a flat battery, as it were.

If we look at this phenomenon closely we may find that idle conversation is born of (one or more of) insecurity, uncertainty, curiosity or deviousness. If we are not sure of ourselves, not confident, uncertain of the right action, the other person, or the situation we tend to cover all that up with words which mean nothing and achieve nothing except put a temporary false front behind which we can hide for a time. Or we may be just nosy and in order to needle out information from someone, we start off a casual conversation which may force the other person to furnish the gossip we really want to hear.

Sometimes we create conversation because we want to give ourselves a break from what we are doing. We consequently pretend that we are interested in what someone else is doing and may go to extreme lengths to show our "sympathy", "agreement", and genuine interest", just in order to release the pressure from our own chore.

Passing on to another interesting area where unnecessary talk takes place, we look at that talk which is used to:

Justification, Rationalisation, Excuse and Blame

There is a common tendency in almost all of us to feel that we must justify what we said, did, intended, meant, wanted, etc., etc. We want the person or persons to be quite sure of our "good" intentions and so on, but what we probably do not realise is that we are making "bores" out of ourselves as well as waste a lot of valuable subtle energy in the process.

Rationalisation is as bad as justification except we use it to "reason" with the other person that what we did or said was in fact quite in order when we know only too well it wasn't. The wastage of energy associated with this activity multiplies due to the effect of lying, to be discussed shortly.

Very often, too, we find ourselves running around accumulating as much "evidence" as we can to ensure that the "responsibility" is placed on so and so's lap. When an implied wrongness is involved this is called blame; if the implication is one of rightness it is called an excuse. In either case it may not be our place at all to go through such a chase -- usually involving a lot of repetition of "facts", explanations etc.; but we feel that "somebody" has to do it and we elect ourselves as the most appropriate person.

One source of far too much unnecessary talk which is fairly obvious but which should not be left un-mentioned is :

Repetitivitis

The only cure for this one is self discipline and the courage to admit that our audience may be a little more intelligent than we might suspect, so we should not have to repeat ourselves that much.

Judgement, Criticism, Apology

Unless it happens to be our specific professional duty, passing judgement and criticising are never justified. In either case we are only exposing our own weakness. We want to impress others with our "abilities" and so we expound our views, opinions, values, and so forth.

We generally end up reciting our past adventures and exploits with the idea that we are "educating" our listeners, when all we're doing is simply conditioning them. On the other hand we may be the type who has "gone through" or "given up" criticising etc., but we have now gone to the other extreme. We are now apologising all the time and about everything.

Whether we're on one extreme or the other it is still a lot of useless talk which does nobody any good except put a drain on our scarce energy supplies, contributing to our early "flake-out" practically every day of our life.

Practice:
Listening to ourselves speak

Your practice for this section consists of carrying out an act of memory.

What you are asked to remember is to listen to the sound of your voice whenever you speak.

This might sound very strange, but you will find that it does not come easy. In the first place you probably will forget to do it. Or it may be that you have some resistance against doing it. If you are willing to do it but forget to do it, what do you think is the solution?

What you are required to do is, next time you speak to someone, just carry on as usual with the exception that you endeavour to hear your own voice as you speak - nothing more. This should not be too objectionable a task since after all you are expecting your audience to hear your voice, so why should you not wish to hear it as well?

Freewheeling Thoughts

This is perhaps the most disastrous energy leak of all because there is little we can do about it, at least not until we learn what it means to "come in touch". To understand how thoughts can be an energy drain we must appreciate that not all energies in the human machine are physical or muscular energies. We have a great deal of subtle energies which we employ for functions like thinking, visualising, imagining, reasoning and others.

The energies are there for us to employ. However it is found, and you can also confirm this for yourself, that a great deal of thinking goes on in the head by itself without the slightest intention on our part. This thinking is not only out of place and out of time, but also out of control. I am sure it is not uncommon to find ourselves enveloped, absorbed and sometimes completely blinded by some particular thought we can't seem to be able to get out of our minds: the more we try, the more it continues to take our attention and our very existence. I mentioned above that usually freewheeling thoughts are out of place and out of time.

Examples which might illustrate this are as follows:

Thinking what we should have said/done

Thinking what might have happened

Thinking what might happen

Thinking an argument in anticipation

Thinking what we will do next

Thinking about oneself critically/approvingly

Thinking about others emotionally/critically

Thinking about what should be

Thinking about unfinished activities

Thinking before going to sleep and before getting up

Time and Space

Looking at these very briefly we might point out that the energy which is taken from the store of subtle energy in the body to sustain and uphold the thoughts about what we should have said, for example, is in fact taken away from the task which is before us at the present moment. Thus not only is the activity in the head out of time, but also our attention is mis-placed and does not reach the present situation.

We thus lose out on two accounts: we are "replaying" a past activity: and we end up performing the present task poorly and inefficiently. The only chance we have of altering any of our behaviour patterns is to be fully attending at the time, not think about it later. If next time we are again not attending we will forget what it was we are supposed to change.

The fact is that any task we do should be given our fullest attention - otherwise it is better not to do it at all. Attention, or connection with the interface of the task at hand, is what will ensure that the right amount of energy flows into the task. Even if we are simply "resting" or "relaxing" the worst thing to do is to start "thinking".

When do you live?

Similar comments may be made regarding thoughts about what might happen or might freewheeling. The thoughts are there and we are stuck with them, running and repeating in an endless circle unless we attend to what we are doing then. And when we do attend, thoughts about past or future will disappear -- and energy waste will cease.

Secondly, we should appreciate that when we allow such thinking to go on we are not present. And if we are not present, the present situation might be going out of control, giving us further food for thought. Thus we might be spending our whole life thinking about past or future while the present instant goes unattended, and our subtle (mental) energies keep going down the drain. As well as thinking about situations which have taken place, we often find ourselves thinking about situations which may never take place. Typical of this is the inner arguments we go through with an imaginary opponent.

Anxiety defined

The anticipation and preparation we go through prior to meeting someone, for example, consumes an enormous amount of subtle energy. The extreme case, or course, is called an anxiety condition. People who are over- anxious are usually depleted of energy, can't do various tasks on account of this and may easily develop heart or similar conditions such as asthma, migraine etc.. It is not rare to find that some anxious people actually over-eat although it does not appear to "go anywhere".

It is easy to understand overeating in the light of the present consideration of loss of energy through unnecessary thinking. Energy is lost, so the "machine" is making an attempt to refill. The anxious person is always thinking "what will I do next?", "what will happen next?" He is never in the present and because he can't attend from an outside time and space he becomes inefficient and may even have to be looked after. A lot of freewheeling thought has to do with our consideration of ourselves and, although less frequently, of others.

The ways we might spend considering ourselves are far too numerous to list here in full. But to name just a few, the things we allow our head to go on about ourselves include the kind of person we think we are, the way we would like to be, the way we think we should be, the pity we feel for ourselves, all the injustices and wrongs we have suffered, all the times people have misunderstood us, all the times they have dis-respected and offended us.

Self-praise

Or we might go on a self-appraisal trip and think what a generous person we are, how good and professional-like we handled that situation, how wise we are and how people seek our advice; what remarkable achievements we have accomplished in such a short time and so on and on.

If we find ourselves thinking these things we may take it for granted we are in fact rather inefficient, uncertain, and out of touch. All these thoughts take our attention away from what we're doing and at the same time they consume energy which may not be replenishable until after a good night's sleep.

As well as thinking about ourselves we may find ourselves "considering" others. We take over their problem in our head, we "sympathise" and try to work out a solution for them. All of this "thinking" is a waste of time and energy and never really solved anyone's problems. But we justify our thinking in believing that it was "worth a try". But in fact it is worth nothing. What we must come to see is that we could not stop thinking what we thought. It was all freewheeling thought.

Unfinished business

Another vast source of random, uncontrolled thinking, is the thoughts which go on about things left undone: many an unfinished task gets "completed" over and over again in our head, in our day-dreams or even during dreams in bed at night. Thus we spend most of our day attending to thoughts about another task, not the one we're doing then.

I wish to make it quite clear that: the exhaustion you feel after a day's work spent thinking about the other task, is due to such thinking and not to the actual work performed.

We might look at just another instance in which freewheeling thought is very prominent, and that is just before going to sleep and just before getting up. As you are going to sleep the whole day is whirling around in your head whether you will it or not.

Ready for bed?

At this time in your day, when your head and your body need rest the most, your head doesn't seem to know how or when to stop. At this time all the slip-ups, all the unfinished business, all the frustrations of the day seem to loom up and remind you what a mess you made of yet another day. What happened to all those promises you had made yourself that you'd act differently "next time"? Well today you had another chance but you carried on just as you always do!

Now thoughts of tomorrow come to mind, all the planning, all the expectations, all the anticipations pass swiftly through your consciousness and you are still awake, missing out on precious energy-giving sleep.

Are you awake now?

In waking up it is the same. Unless you are terribly quick and get up as soon as you wake up, your mind will have beaten you to it and before you know it, it is whirling and running, taking up where it left off the night before. Thus by the time you do get up you are already depleted of energy, exhausted and "tired".

We have cited enough examples of freewheeling thought I think, to make it sufficiently clear that, due to a lack of knowledge about what attention is, how to control it and use it, we very frequently, if not almost constantly, allow the mind to go on thinking in a way which is not only not productive, but at the same time gives way to a drainage of an enormous proportion of subtle energy whose loss will eventually manifest as tiredness,? restlessness, exhaustion etc..

Practice:
Checking Mind-Wandering

Freewheeling Thought is responsible for the sustenance of tension in the body. As such, thought constitutes one of the major energy leaks in the human machine. As the mind wanders from the task at hand energy loss occurs because we are virtually trying to do do two jobs at the same time.

The one before us gets done unconsciously; the one that is not before us does not actually get done at all, but the mind is doing it. So we lose on two accounts. This unconscious activity in the mind drains the energy supplies nonetheless and that is why we end up feeling exhausted, tired, and tense. This self-talk, which happens out of place and out of context, has to be checked, if we are going to learn how to conserve energy and improve our existence.

Energy for your thoughts

Although the energy wasted in the process of freewheeling thought itself is not directly perceivable, we may gain some awareness of the waste involved by observing the corresponding physical outcome, which, as has been hinted above, constitutes in the various body parts associated with the particular thought - becoming tense.

It is the object of the present exercise, therefore, to endeavour to become aware of the process of mind-wandering and train the mind to come back to the task at hand.

Here is what you do:- In order that you have a task to perform and bring the mind back to, we have to create a simple task for the purpose of carrying out the practice.

You have already been introduced to the idea of Coming in Touch, so you will be asked to sit quietly and carry out a few "rounds" of sensing the body in a regular and systematic way. After you have sat for a few moments and established a certain kind of "presence" by using all your senses and coming in touch with the body, you will be asked to begin sensing the body by starting at one end - say the right foot - and move the attention slowly and continuously up the leg towards the bottom of the spine.

Then, bring the attention to the left foot and move the awareness of sensation up the left leg towards the bottom of the spine. You then take up the sensation of the spine from the bottom up and move towards the head in a continuous and uninterrupted manner. You will carry out a similar procedure with each arm in turn, resting your attention at the base of the head after each arm.

That is going to be "the task at hand" - a continuous and uninterrupted sensing exercise in which you are required to be tangibly and physically aware of your body parts and limbs as your awareness travels around the body. At this stage there is no real significance to be attached to any of the body parts. It is just a way of giving the mind something to attend to and to check its tendency to wander from what you have decided to do.

Can you stop thinking?

It should be your object to make an effort to remain in touch with your body. Your body will serve as a reference, an anchor point, a place to come back to when your mind wanders into thinking those thoughts which will inevitably enter it.

So this is the exercise. You are to sit, come in touch with your body and remain in touch - scanning the various parts of the body - slowly and with full attention. A short time after you have begun to come in touch with your body - maybe as much as a minute; or it may be a few seconds - you will find yourself thinking about something. You will notice that you do not recall actually? starting that thought, but somehow or other you now notice that you must have been thinking for at least a few moments and only now you have just become aware of it. As soon as you become aware that your mind has wandered, come back to the body! If you do not remember where you left off before your mind wandered off, start again at the last starting point - which, as you recall may be either the right or left foot, the base of the spine, or either the right or the left hand.

Practice for stretches of about three minutes at first. Then increase the practice to five, ten and fifteen minutes.

Start you first practice now.......

As you are sitting there spend a few moments coming in touch with your body and allow the listening to continue........

Come in touch with your right foot........

Sense its weight, the pressure between the foot and the floor.........

Hold an awareness of the foot and move your attention up the leg to the knee....... Slowly and continuously.......

Move the awareness up the thigh continuously - maintain attention along the thigh up to the bottom of the spine......

Come in touch with your left foot........

Sense its weight, the pressure between the foot and the floor.........

Hold an awareness of the foot and move your attention up the leg to the knee....... Slowly and continuously.......

Move the awareness up the thigh continuously - maintain attention along the thigh...... Continue up to the bottom of the spine......

Come to your right hand.....

Shine your attention along the arm...... Move slowly up the arm - through to the elbow - to the upper arm and shoulder..... Sense your shoulder....

Move gradually around the shoulder and rest the attention at the base of the head........

Now come to the left hand.......

Move gradually and continuously to the wrist...... arm.... elbow....

Move up to your shoulder...... be sure to sense all kinds of sensation - texture..... temperature........ movement.......

Come in touch with the bottom of the spine....

Move your attention - gradually - up the spine.....

Come in touch..... connect with your body.....

Move up to the head - Scan the scalp - go to the right ear..... right temple.... forehead..... right eye...... the area around the eye.... left eye....

Go to the left temple...... left ear..... come back to the forehead..... nose..... mouth.... chin..... jaw....

Shine the light of your consciousness on each part of your face.... come down to the neck..... chest...... solar plexus.

Come back to your feet - sense the pressure against the floor and generally come in touch with your body.......

Negative Feelings

How did you get on with checking Mind-wandering? Are we beginning to understand each other - what it is that we have to do? Mind-wandering is very common! It's just that most people are unaware that it happens. They imagine that they are deliberately thinking about things. Most people don't seem to realise that the mind wanders in spite of their intentions. And when something brings them back to their senses they say: "Oh I was just thinking about such and such"!

We are looking at various common phenomena which should be familiar to most of us, and we are considering them in the light of energy consumption. We are now about to look at one such energy leak - a very potent one, even more so than mind-wandering. Unlike the leak which constitutes the subtle process of thinking and which is extremely difficult to plug without the appropriate training, the energy leak due to the expression of negative feelings is easily stop-able - if we decide.

Feeling and Emotion

I am not at all talking about emotion but about feeling. Emotion is not "felt". Feelings are more easily likened to sensations than they are to dispositions or sentiments. You can feel "angry", the feeling is an organic going-on in the machine; you can "feel" it, almost as you can "feel" that my hand is warm let's say. Similarly you can feel excited. The excitement is in the body, it is "felt", again, just as you may "feel" cold, hot, tired, hungry and so on. If you can put "I feel..." to it then it is a feeling.

I am not saying whether the expression of negative feelings is a good thing or a bad thing; whether it has any other advantages or disadvantages; whether one should engage in it, encourage it and so on. I am only saying that the expression of negative feelings constitutes an energy leak or energy loss as far as the human reservoir of energy is concerned.

Express or Suppress?

It may be, for example, that someone may be willing to trade the feeling of getting even with someone at the cost of getting a little excited, or angry, or depressed, and so on, and sure enough the energy level will go down.

What does it mean to say that to "express" negative feelings will give rise to energy loss? Isn't it the case that when we explode and assert ourselves we feel immensely better? Or do we? We might feel brave or relieved, but haven't you noticed the body shaking all over after a blow-up of negative feelings?

When we "express" anything we are giving it our attention, which is the tool of consciousness. Consciousness is born of energy and consequently anything we attend to receives a portion of conscious energy. The more conscious energy flows out, the less conscious we become, or what amounts to the same thing, the more unconscious we become. As we become more unconscious, our ability to perceive and attend clearly deteriorates and it is in this way that we may appear to lose "sight" of our "problem".

What we do

The moment you become aware of negative emotions, come in touch with them but do not give them expression. The practice is easy but at the same time difficult for various reasons: in the first place it may not be so easy for us to sense the way we're feeling before it's too late.

Secondly we may not be convinced that anything can be gained by "suppressing" negative feelings. Actually I am not saying you must "suppress" negative feelings, for even the act of "suppressing" is a kind of expressing and of giving attention, consciousness and, consequently, energy. Thirdly we may be discouraged after a few failed attempts and hence forget all about it. But it can be done.

Passion

Perhaps the concept of energy loss through the expression of negative feelings can better be appreciated by considering some of the more "passionate" feelings. Can you not recall a time when you were particularly angry or excited about something? You made sure everyone knew and you held the floor and had your say.

What did you feel straight afterward? Wasn't the energy just pouring out! Wasn't your body shaking all over? Did you not feel like "having" something to eat, drink; or "have" a smoke or something?

You see, energy was lost, and your whole machinery manifested such loss in the expression of the desire to be replenished. Unfortunately some subtle energies, although they are transformed from a combination of grosser energies in the form of various kinds of "food", take longer to be replenished. And so, every time we give expression to negative feelings the human machine experiences a famine which may cause permanent damage to the system.

Practice:
Feeling Feelings

We are going to come in touch with feelings now and I'd like to take a few minutes to outline the mechanics involved in the exercise.

You are going to come in touch with feelings. No thoughts, reasonings, explanations or speculations are necessary. When you come in touch with a feeling as directed you are just to do that and nothing else. No "expression" of any feeling is required.

Should you be unable to locate the feeling called for, you may recall a feeling somewhat similar. For example "Aggressive" or "Hostile" is considered to be similar to feeling "Angry".

Now here is what you do when you recall a feeling. You are seated comfortably in your chair or cushion and you are in touch with your body. Your attention is centred on the Solar Plexus. Your "feeling" sense is open and you are ready to "look" at this feeling. Remember you are coming in touch with a feeling. You are not required to do anything with it, or about it. I want you to simply look at that feeling. But this "looking" at a feeling is really feeling that feeling; since feelings have no visual form but a feeling form.

So you are to come in touch with the feeling, just as you would come in touch with tension in your body. No thinking is required. No analysis; no explanation and no expression is needed. Just coming in touch. You feel the feeling; look at the feeling; touch it, as it were. Listen to it. But that "listening" is to be done with your solar plexus, not the ears.

It may not be easy to keep thoughts out of the way. If you find yourself thinking about the feeling just drop the whole thing; come back in touch with the body, and give it another go.

What is to happen when you come in touch with a feeling? Don't be surprised if the feeling gradually dissolves or at least decreases in intensity as you hold it under the gaze of your attention. Your attention will be operating through the feeling "sense" and the light of your consciousness, through attention will "melt" or dissolve the feeling.

You are reminded that feelings which we carry around with us in our unconscious mind represent a burden and a drain to our energy resources. Exposing them to the light of our consciousness will burn them up. So the closer we come in touch with them, the more efficient is going to be the exposure of the film, as it were. We are exposing the film of our past feelings to the light of our present consciousness.

You will notice, however, that we do not erase the memory of the feeling. What we are doing is: we are taking the right perspective. We are looking at feelings which were experienced in the past, but have somehow or other remained with us in our feeling centre. These feelings are now out of place. They belong in different time. We are coming in touch with them and we are allowing them to dissolve. We don't resist them, or hide them; nor suppress them or deny them. We look at them and let them go.

Please make sure you understand the above instructions and then proceed.......

For each feeling concerned we are going to follow the same procedure:

First you will be asked to think of a time when you experienced such and such a feeling, giving you time to do so....

Then you come in touch with that feeling.

You allow the feeling to be there! You allow yourself to feel it; allow yourself to have that feeling.

You will most probably experience the feeling gradually dissolving.

Just come in touch with the feeling and stay in touch until the feeling melts away by itself..........

Come in touch with your body.... begin at the feet. Get into posture......... Centre yourself........

Think of a time when you felt ANNOYED.......

Come in touch with the feeling of annoyance in you right now........

Allow the feeling of Annoyance to BE.....

Allow yourself to feel annoyed...........

Come in touch with your annoyance........

Stay there.... feel it.... let it be...

Allow the feeling of annoyance to dissolve.... melt away.... disappear.....

Come back in touch with your body....

Sense the feet on the floor.... seat on the chair... body posture..... body weight.... Centre yourself.....

Think of a time when you felt HURT....

Come in touch with the feeling of feeling HURT in you right now....

Allow yourself to feel HURT....

Allow the feeling of feeling hurt to be....

Feel the feeling.... come in touch with it....

Now allow the feeling to dissolve....

Come back to your feet.... legs... trunk.... neck... head... chest.... abdomen... solar plexus.........

Think of a time when you felt GUILTY....

Now come in touch with the feeling of guilt in you right now....

Allow the feeling to be there.... don't resist it.

Allow yourself to feel GUILTY.....

Feel the feeling.... Come in touch with it...

Stay with the feeling.... feel the feeling....

Allow the feeling to dissolve....

Come back in touch with the body........

Think of a time when you felt HAPPY....

Now come in touch with the feeling of happiness in you right now....

Allow the feeling to be there....

Allow yourself to feel HAPPY.....

Feel the feeling of Happiness....

Come in touch with the feeling...

Stay with the feeling........

Allow the feeling to dissolve....

Come back to the body.....

Centre yourself.....

Repeat the procedure for as many feelings as you can think of. Make yourself a list similar to the following and carry on at your own pace.

Think of a time when you felt:-

PAIN:

REJECTED:

IGNORED:

FRUSTRATED:

ANGRY:

INADEQUATE:

EXCITED:

USELESS:

MISERABLE:

DEPRESSED:

Returning to the Senses

At the end of the practice:-

Come in touch with your body.... Come in touch with the room... The space around you.... Open your eyes.... look at various objects in the room... Smell the environment... Listen to sounds nearby....

I acknowledge my body, the space around it and the physical universe.....

I acknowledge my feelings, their space and those who are associated with me and those feelings.

I HAVE a body....... I can observe it....

I have feelings....... I can feel them.....

I can melt tension in the body.....

I can melt feelings and let them go.....

I am HERE, NOW.

Hidden Agendas

There are numerous ways in which we can be actively and subtly negative. The energy leaks listed below have one thing in common: the person committing them has a